Never thought i’d have the capacity. Does it really need to be that painful?

rained so hard,stuck in traffic for an hour and a half,people crossing the street like crazy,car almost didn’t make it,i almost lost it..hehe =)

My head hurts like hell…

Since i woke up this morning…

Somebody comes up to me once, and says, “I’m sorry for having caused you and your wife  pain.” Instantly my mind processed and realized that I was right all along. The person really intended to cause us “pain”. I did not feel good after that. What’s worse is that it still goes on up to this day.
Extraordinary patience…
It’s something I admit I lack.
There’s a part in me that wants to whack somebody’s head off or break stuff…
Looking back at my multiply account’s blog, I saw an entry I made about 2 years ago. It was about being cheated of what should be mine. I feel that way all over again.
A few weeks ago I spoke on making decisions and how it affects other people, especially the ones we love. And so for now, my family keeps me sane. I find myself in situations that are God ordained, as if trying to distract me and keep me from focusing too much on my angst.
Forgiveness wasn’t an issue from the start. I learned to forgive even though it hurts and my innermost wants revenge. I’m still human. I still feel. I still am not immune to emotions.
So where am I now?
I’m in a place of crossroads. Where I turn doesn’t really matter. It’s the same old thing. Not unless something drastic happens.
There’s too much at stake…
So what do I do?
There’s nothing much to do actually… just keep on keeping on…
I pray for strength, I pray for courage, I pray for peace, I pray for change, i pray for extraordinary love…